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Post by NinjaOfTamashii on Dec 25, 2009 11:32:25 GMT -5
CHECKLIST:
[glow=red,2,300]AumbreSuai: CLEARED Herio: NOT CLEARED 42: NOT CLEARED scrawlED: NOT CLEARED 6&7fan: CLEARED hackerwarrior: NOT CLEARED minespatch: CLEARED Arel: NOT CLEARED Tomahachi: NOT CLEARED SolarFox6: NOT CLEARED[/glow]
Alright, recently we've been having a load of problems in the RP. Now, I'm not one to knock at anyone for quality of writing, but... The RP is extremelly lacking in post size and quality. At least, for a Literate RP. That's right, this is supposed to be a literate RP.
I am not pointing fingers, but most of these mistakes are easy to fix, usually just be a second read after writing or even spell check on a basic Word Document. This is honestly beginning to be extremelly irritating to me as Leader of the club and an Extreme Literate writer.
Now, some of you may think I'm just preaching this to be annoying, but I'm not. See, it's honestly gotten so irritating that I see short posts with nothing to go off of, while I'm posting long, descriptive pararaphs... and then I receive emails in a day asking me why I haven't posted yet. Alright, another thing. This is a long term roleplay, that is why I made a forum site just for it. I love to have a couple days between posts, it gives me time to sit back, finish my Real World Homework and Work, then work on my other writing. And then I have time to think up a beautiful and long post.
I have considered on multiple occasions simply deleting the forum and being done with it. But I won't. I will try to be more mature. Also, I'm a big softie and I am quite easy to walk all over. I know this about myself, and I can tell when someone is doing it to me, but I do not like to cause riots.
Here's the thing though, if the RP continues like this, It. Will. Not. Survive. It simply won't. See, this takes away from interested members who look at the posts and don't see anything coherent or able to jump into. We've had this problem already, asyou will notice less then ten of our 30 members have put up a post yet.
I AM NOT MAD OR POINTING FINGERS. DON'T TAKE IT THAT WAY. PLEASE.
Alright, so. To help everyone out with the literacy of their posting, I've recruited my fellow Roleplayer, Shader, to whom I have been doing a literate one-on-one RP with for almost three years now. She is a highly literate roleplayer, and is very skilled at description, dialouge, and grammer. Luckily, she has agreed to help our roleplay by being a Grammer and Literacy consultant. SHE HAS NOT SEEN 9. SHE HAS NO BACKGROUND OF IT, RATHER THEN MY OWN FANGIRL RANTS OF IT.
So here's the deal. I will require everyone in the roleplay to send her at least one of your 'best' posts. This of course includes myself. I will set up a board on which you can personaly speak to her, as well as a checklist of who has sent her a message and who is not. I AM STRICT ON THIS. SHE WILL HELP YOU. And forewarning, she is very very kind, but she will not stall to say her opinion about anything like I do.
Thanks to everyone. And please rememeber the Original 9 Character contest chosing. This will help your entry into it!
Thanks and Merry Christmas, Happy Winter Soltice, and Happy Holidays, -Scrawl/ Ninja (0 and 11.)
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Post by Arel on Dec 25, 2009 14:03:15 GMT -5
Where do you want us to send everything, Ninji?
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Post by NinjaOfTamashii on Dec 25, 2009 14:52:40 GMT -5
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Post by Shader on Dec 25, 2009 22:49:15 GMT -5
Actually, if you all could be so kind as to post your samples here, it'd help me keep my inbox from getting suddenly flooded, also keeps things from getting lost and provides good examples to other users.
They can possibly benefit in case they're making the same mistakes as you. ^^
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Post by minespatch on Dec 27, 2009 5:08:43 GMT -5
I sent in my pm.
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Post by 6&7fan on Dec 27, 2009 8:58:22 GMT -5
Here's my writing sample, Shader; it's one of my earlier ones:
325 grunted as he cranked the elvator upwards.
The tall, lanky stitchpunk was a bit of a painful sight. His burlap skin was covered in black denim patches. Some had been there when he awoke, and a few had been added since from various causes. One particularly large black patch ran diagonally across his face, giving him a nightmarish harlquin appearance. His hands were the most disturbing of all.
Instead of rounded fingers like many of his cloth brethren, out of his fingers sprouted sharp black claws formed from barbed wire points. It was these hands that caused most to be wary of him, even though he was a gentle soul. He had seen too much death and anguish to harbor bad feelings towards the innocent, and he knew how he looked.
He had been a solier in his former life. He couldn't remember much about his past, but everyday, little bits and pieces of his memory would return. For example, today he had remembered how to sharpen a knife today; how to take an edge down to a less than the width of one of his stitches.
He had just finished sharpening and polishing his new weapon-a discarded pocket knife blade. He had found it on the third floor among the detritus and junk piled and stored there. It was chipped and rusty, but he saw potential in rough things like this. Like himself...
Someone sure missed out on this he had chuckled as he sharpened it to a razor's edge on a broken piece of marble statuary.
He was headed to the roof to practice with it, for he preferred to practice his combat training alone. But as the elevator reached the roof and he hopped out, he was a bit suprised to find others out there this late at night.
"Oh, good evening, there," he said, waving a clawed hand in greeting.
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Post by AumbreSuai on Dec 28, 2009 11:57:41 GMT -5
This is my writing sample from the beginning of the RP:
Stars made their way through the desolate clouds, twinkling merrily down at the otherwise, depressing earth below. Other than the female muttering quietly to herself a little ways from him, the night was silent. And that's how he liked it.
68 stood, perched atop an adjacent rooftop, gazing out into the darkness. He was not a solitary soul by any means, but he enjoyed this quiet. It brought him peace, because if there was noise, there was danger. Oh sure, he enjoyed tearing up the beasts that roamed the Emptiness when they got too close to their haven, but just... enjoying life and its serenity was something he truly cherished.
His muteness did not bother him either. As long as his basic ideas were understood and his needs met, he was fine. He clicked softly, looking up as similar, harsher clicks responded and echoed through the night. He leaned against his blade, which was a half of a pair of scissors, only slightly tensed, knowing that the beast was still too far to be a concern. He gazed up at the stars but maintained the vigil, whirring softly.
88 sat among the young stitchpunks, making sure they didn't wander off. The last thing that they needed was to lose one of their own to the Emptiness. She smiled as she listened to the quiet chattering of the sleepy younglings, struggling to fight off sleep. She adjusted the holes in her hands, waving them slightly, trying to find the right tune. Satisfied, she began to play a lullaby that she had heard long ago, smiling as she saw some heads nod off in sleep.
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Post by hackerwarrior on Dec 28, 2009 22:41:28 GMT -5
My writing sample. First one I did on here.
__________
28 sat on the roof and stared up at the sky, humming a little tune. Even when she couldn't see through the clouds the sky was still amazing to her. 'Maybe I could figure out a way to stay up there...' she thought lightly.
Her thoughts were brought back to Earth as she remembered the torn parachute sitting in her lap. She sighed and went inside to go find a needle and thread. "Don't worry little guy," she said to the parachute. "I'll get you patched up..."
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Post by Shader on Dec 29, 2009 19:56:05 GMT -5
Here's my writing sample, Shader; it's one of my earlier ones: 325 grunted as he cranked the elvator upwards. The tall, lanky stitchpunk was a bit of a painful sight. His burlap skin was covered in black denim patches. Some had been there when he awoke, and a few had been added since from various causes. One particularly large black patch ran diagonally across his face, giving him a nightmarish harlquin appearance. His hands were the most disturbing of all. Instead of rounded fingers like many of his cloth brethren, out of his fingers sprouted sharp black claws formed from barbed wire points. It was these hands that caused most to be wary of him, even though he was a gentle soul. He had seen too much death and anguish to harbor bad feelings towards the innocent, and he knew how he looked. He had been a solier in his former life. He couldn't remember much about his past, but everyday, little bits and pieces of his memory would return. For example, today he had remembered how to sharpen a knife today; how to take an edge down to a less than the width of one of his stitches. He had just finished sharpening and polishing his new weapon-a discarded pocket knife blade. He had found it on the third floor among the detritus and junk piled and stored there. It was chipped and rusty, but he saw potential in rough things like this. Like himself... Someone sure missed out on this he had chuckled as he sharpened it to a razor's edge on a broken piece of marble statuary. He was headed to the roof to practice with it, for he preferred to practice his combat training alone. But as the elevator reached the roof and he hopped out, he was a bit suprised to find others out there this late at night. "Oh, good evening, there," he said, waving a clawed hand in greeting. For 6&7Fan: Your posting is good, though I notice you do tend to right in simple sentences quite a bit. Not that that's so much of a horrible thing, you could stand to combine your sentences a bit more, perhaps make them slightly more complex. Other than that, thumbs up! I'll make sure to let Ninja know you're all good to go. I hope you can keep up this quality in all your future posts. ^^
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Post by Shader on Dec 29, 2009 20:00:58 GMT -5
This is my writing sample from the beginning of the RP: Stars made their way through the desolate clouds, twinkling merrily down at the otherwise, depressing earth below. Other than the female muttering quietly to herself a little ways from him, the night was silent. And that's how he liked it.
68 stood, perched atop an adjacent rooftop, gazing out into the darkness. He was not a solitary soul by any means, but he enjoyed this quiet. It brought him peace, because if there was noise, there was danger. Oh sure, he enjoyed tearing up the beasts that roamed the Emptiness when they got too close to their haven, but just... enjoying life and its serenity was something he truly cherished.
His muteness did not bother him either. As long as his basic ideas were understood and his needs met, he was fine. He clicked softly, looking up as similar, harsher clicks responded and echoed through the night. He leaned against his blade, which was a half of a pair of scissors, only slightly tensed, knowing that the beast was still too far to be a concern. He gazed up at the stars but maintained the vigil, whirring softly.
88 sat among the young stitchpunks, making sure they didn't wander off. The last thing that they needed was to lose one of their own to the Emptiness. She smiled as she listened to the quiet chattering of the sleepy younglings, struggling to fight off sleep. She adjusted the holes in her hands, waving them slightly, trying to find the right tune. Satisfied, she began to play a lullaby that she had heard long ago, smiling as she saw some heads nod off in sleep. For AumbreSuai: Just a teensy little note I see here: you tend to overuse commas a little. You also have a slight tendency to split your sentences up in unnecessary places. While this doesn't affect the overall content of your posts, I felt this is something I should point out. I'll let Ninja know you're approved to go. Keep up the good work!
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Post by Shader on Dec 29, 2009 20:16:41 GMT -5
My writing sample. First one I did on here. __________ 28 sat on the roof and stared up at the sky, humming a little tune. Even when she couldn't see through the clouds the sky was still amazing to her. 'Maybe I could figure out a way to stay up there...' she thought lightly. Her thoughts were brought back to Earth as she remembered the torn parachute sitting in her lap. She sighed and went inside to go find a needle and thread. "Don't worry little guy," she said to the parachute. "I'll get you patched up..." For hackerwarrior: While I understand this is your first post on the site that you left here, I would like to see others if at all possible. From what I see, you lack a lot of details in the other characters general. That is, you're not really making any attempt to interact. Rps are for people to create and advance a story together, and for you, you need to make an attempt to be a part of the current action. Don't wait for the action to come to you, it doesn't always work that way.
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Post by AumbreSuai on Dec 29, 2009 20:18:00 GMT -5
Alright! Many thanks Shader.
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Post by minespatch on Dec 30, 2009 6:33:20 GMT -5
Why isn't Herio cleared? I remember you saying something about that you read Herio's personal message before mine.
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Post by hackerwarrior on Dec 30, 2009 20:44:14 GMT -5
Okay, trying again here. Thanks for the advice Shader. ____________ 28 flinched a little as the needle entered and 19 began repairs. It hurt a little, but the female knew that if she didn't get it fixed then things would be worse later on. 'Bad enough that I put it off this long...' At 22's question she had to pause a moment. "Depends on what you're asking about. If it's about my arm, the short version is it got ripped up by a new guy and some machines. If it's about what happened to you..." She buried her shame, figuring that it was 22 who had screamed earlier. She still wondered how she could have frozen up like that and not gone to help. "I wasn't really there. You'll have to ask 325 or 0." She smiled as 19 finished the repairs to her arm and patted the medic's shoulder in silent gratitude. The momentary peace was shattered though with 325's call to arms. "We aren't catching any breaks tonight are we?" she asked to no-one in particular. She turned back to 19 making sure the doll could read her lips. "You're probably going to get more wounded soon." With those words, 28 ran out of the infirmary and out into the rain with the others, her bolas at the ready.
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Post by 6&7fan on Jan 1, 2010 10:12:46 GMT -5
Here's my writing sample, Shader; it's one of my earlier ones: 325 grunted as he cranked the elvator upwards. The tall, lanky stitchpunk was a bit of a painful sight. His burlap skin was covered in black denim patches. Some had been there when he awoke, and a few had been added since from various causes. One particularly large black patch ran diagonally across his face, giving him a nightmarish harlquin appearance. His hands were the most disturbing of all. Instead of rounded fingers like many of his cloth brethren, out of his fingers sprouted sharp black claws formed from barbed wire points. It was these hands that caused most to be wary of him, even though he was a gentle soul. He had seen too much death and anguish to harbor bad feelings towards the innocent, and he knew how he looked. He had been a solier in his former life. He couldn't remember much about his past, but everyday, little bits and pieces of his memory would return. For example, today he had remembered how to sharpen a knife today; how to take an edge down to a less than the width of one of his stitches. He had just finished sharpening and polishing his new weapon-a discarded pocket knife blade. He had found it on the third floor among the detritus and junk piled and stored there. It was chipped and rusty, but he saw potential in rough things like this. Like himself... Someone sure missed out on this he had chuckled as he sharpened it to a razor's edge on a broken piece of marble statuary. He was headed to the roof to practice with it, for he preferred to practice his combat training alone. But as the elevator reached the roof and he hopped out, he was a bit suprised to find others out there this late at night. "Oh, good evening, there," he said, waving a clawed hand in greeting. For 6&7Fan: Your posting is good, though I notice you do tend to right in simple sentences quite a bit. Not that that's so much of a horrible thing, you could stand to combine your sentences a bit more, perhaps make them slightly more complex. Other than that, thumbs up! I'll make sure to let Ninja know you're all good to go. I hope you can keep up this quality in all your future posts. ^^ Thanks, Shader. I've improved since then in my sentence complexity. I just don't want to look like i'm 'showing off' or anything, you know?
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